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Life with Aspergers: Are Aspies Capable of Love

So the cycle goes on, the snake eating its own tail. By last week, it felt like I was just hanging on for dear life. Predominantly Inattentive Type 2: Predominantly Hyperactive Type 3: Poor sustained attention span for reading, paperwork, etc. People with this condition lack filters most people have to block out distractions and stimuli. For people like me, everything in an environment is a potential distraction, because everything comes in at once. Poor self-image is also a characteristic of ADD since individuals with this condition tend to be hyper aware of how they differ from others.

Mixing Alcohol and Adderall (and other ADHD Medications)

ADHD could be to blame. The condition starts in childhood, but it can stay into adulthood. And if you have it, it could be causing relationship problems.

Although the answer to this question may seem simple, it recurs with alarming regularity on aspie forums everywhere. Often, it is confused with the aspie"s ability to find a partner or the famous aspie empathy problems - these are different things altogether which I"ll hopefully discuss in follow-up posts.

SO, the question is would you marry someone with a disability? If I had already gotten past the point of deciding to date them, and stuck around long enough for marriage to even be a question or serious consideration, then the disability wouldn"t really matter. I can"t see myself ever saying"well gee, I knew you had a disability this whole entire time, and I wanted to date you, and stick around in a relationship with you for 3,5,10 years, but gosh, marriage, well But we can still be in this LTR that is in essence a marriage without the legal ceremony.

Would you still ask her to marry you? I don"t really know what I would do. Does your answer change depending on severity and type? Because the disability is vague. I don"t want to marry someone that is comatose in a hospital e. I don"t want to marry someone that loses her mind and has to be remanded to a mental health hospital for potentially the remainder of her life.

If she all of a sudden gets Alzheimer"s and doesn"t even know who I am, I don"t want to marry her. If she loses both legs and arms and is stuck in an iron lung with nothing but her head sticking out I don"t want to strap her to the top of the limo after our wedding.

Ambiguous Disorder

My personal opinion is that they all shared a problem with focus. For example, many other researchers have pointed out that you can expect an ADHD kid to have trouble even staying on the piano bench, because they are so hyperactive and scattered. After sixty seconds of application he would literally hurtle himself around the room like a rag doll filled with firecrackers, seeking an outlet for the immense energy within him.

Posted May 2, I have been married 9 1/2 years to a bi-polar man. He was diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago, on meds for a while then we just ignored the problem thinking it would go away.

He was diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago, on meds for a while then we just ignored the problem thinking it would go away. Three years ago I left after a very bad manic episode and he would not seek any professional help. When I said I was leaving it turned into an even worse episode that landed him in jail for a DUI I think he was trying to kill himself with the use of the car.

I left for two months and he did everything right. Got help, swore he would stay on meds, let me have my freedom, etc. I thought I had to give it another shot for the man I loved, our dogs, cat and the life we had built together.

Dying to Eat: The Treatment of Severe Eating Disorders by Deirdra Price, Ph.D.

When Is Hyperfocus a Problem? Sometimes your attention goes quickly from one thing to the next. Other times you can concentrate on something so hard that you lose track of everything else going on around you.

This character would be nothing more than The Ditz, except they have one area of expertise in which no one can beat them. When that skill or talent is needed, they suddenly switch gears from airheadedness to hyper-competency.

So, ADHD cannot possibly create difficulties in the bedroom, can it? Oh, yes it can Oh, yes it can. Especially in a not-so-new relationship. They don"t always know that their"brain wiring" creates this effect, though, and will sometimes blame their partners for growing dull or simply wonder where"that loving feeling" went.

These two traits can generate challenges in getting started, paying attention to details, and maintaining interest through to completion. See where this is going? Or not going, as the case may be. One less well-known trait associated with ADHD is mustering the motivation to initiate a task or project and even enjoyable activities such as making love.

Only Great Psychology Books Make It On To This Page

Lori-Lynn Dale knows first hand. In her senior year in college, she not only completed her studies, but also managed three jobs and cared for a new baby boy. Dale seemed to handle herself beautifully, but inside the young mother felt alone, tired, and overwhelmed.

"ADHD is a disorder of self-regulation and self-control," Russell A. Barkley, PhD, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina and ADHD expert, tells BuzzFeed.

SHARE With her long dark hair flying, Saorla Meenagh, 10, pictured above can execute a perfect switch leap, one leg out, one tucked under, her arms glued to her sides in classic Irish step-dancing style. Saorla, whose blue eyes, white skin, and sprinkle of freckles helped win her a modeling contract with a New York agency—on hold until her braces come off —also plays softball and Gaelic football, a soccer-like game her father, Seamus, a contractor, enjoyed when he was growing up in County Tyrone, Northern Ireland.

She sits on her knees, then jiggles, then rocks, then circles photos in a stack of food magazines with a pen, turning off the TV, turning up the TV, turning down the TV, and making part of a bracelet on a Rainbow Loom before she finally loses interest. She rarely finishes a task and being with her can be as disconcerting as watching television with someone pressing the channel changer every 10 seconds.

Along with a gift for math and a love for Gaelic sports, Saorla has inherited something else from her father: People just meeting her find her adorably sweet, if quirky. Being fidgety and easily distracted are two of the most common and recognized symptoms of ADHD, often leading to poor performance in school, the most recognized fallout of the condition. Ours is not a society tolerant of perpetual motion or daydreaming. Richard Saul published a provocatively titled book, ADHD Does Not Exist, in which he proposes that ADHD is not an entity in itself but a cluster of symptoms that stem from more than 20 other conditions, including depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Many of those, along with dysfunctional behavior conditions such as oppositional defiant disorder, characterized by aggression, tantrums and a propensity to argue with adults, and learning disabilities such as dyslexia, are often diagnosed as co-illnesses with ADHD. Saul criticizes the catchall-nature of an ADHD diagnosis, which he believes corrals a lot of real conditions into one. In some rare cases they can damage the heart.

Taking the Aspie Quiz (Version 3)

Hartmann notes that most or all humans were nomadic hunter gatherers for many thousands of years, but that this standard gradually changed as agriculture developed in most societies, and more people worldwide became farmers. Over many years, most humans adapted to farming cultures, but people with ADHD retained some of the older hunter characteristics. A key component of the theory is that the proposed"hyperfocus" aspect of ADHD is a gift or benefit.

View the latest from the world of psychology: from behavioral research to practical guidance on relationships, mental health and addiction. Find help from our directory of therapists.

No one seems to understand what you struggle with. Maybe you are even beginning to doubt yourself. This article attempts to address some of the predictable patterns that one may experience being married to someone with ADD and why it creates such difficulty. Orlov, How does this happen and why is this so predictable in couples whose spouses have untreated ADD?

When someone with ADD enters into a new romantic relationship, the initial excitement feels so stimulating to the ADD brain that is being flooded with adrenaline and endorphins, that it causes the ADD spouse to completely turn his or her attention to their partner. However, this kind of excitement diminishes over time, along with the adrenaline rush, as the ADD spouse looks elsewhere for stimulation.

Of course this is not conscious on his or her part, and he may not even be aware that this has happened. A sense of being unloved or rejected by ones ADD spouse Individuals with ADD may often be distracted and find it difficult to pay attention to their partner. In addition it creates a sense of Loneliness If your partner seems disinterested in what you are saying or appears to ignore you, it would be easy to understand that one might feel lonely.

In addition, it leads to feeling Ignored Partners of individuals with ADD often get the feeling that all their good advice and suggestions are not taken to head and this may cause the non ADD partner to feel ignored, disrespected or offended. It also leads to an overwhelming feeling of Frustration The same kinds of problems keep presenting themselves over and over again. This also leads to a feeling of Anger Resentment and anger become pervasive when one feels disregarded, disrespected, ignored and often alone in the relationship.

Genius Ditz

For me, this became almost an integral part of my personality and how people saw me. Great gal, horrible taste in men. I used to joke that if there was one unemployed, drug-addicted, criminally inclined asshat in a crowded room of wonderful, caring, loving men…. I read every self-help book there was about women who pick the wrong men.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES. This is an advanced level course. After completing this course, mental health professionals will be able to: Determine the level of severity of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

Now you are frustrated that he decides to go skiing instead of shoveling the snow off the walkway, or forgets to take the children to the dentist. Now you are fed up with the clutter of her incomplete projects, and annoyed by her indifference to planning meals and shopping. It is easier to love someone with ADHD than it is to live with them. You began your relationship as lovers, partners and equals. The non-ADHD partner may become frustrated, disappointed, angry or detached.

It is ironic that those character traits that initially attracted you are often those that create the most conflict as a relationship matures. The non-ADHD partner may turn into an Enabler or a Nag, shifting the relationship from equal partners to one that more closely resembles that of a Parent-Child. It is not unusual to hear the spouse of a person with ADHD saying that their first child is really their second child their ADHD wife or husband being their first child.

ADHD and ADD Symptoms: Inattention, Hyperactivity, and Impulsivity

Meet singles at DateHookup. What would you like to do?. The same questions always come up…will the resident be nice. In this context, rapport is easily built as it feels that you have found someone close in a land of strangers.

By Leslie Rouder, LCSW. The challenges facing a person who is married to someone with untreated ADD can certainly be difficult to navigate, especially because these challenges may be completely hidden to the rest of the world.

I discuss social skills as well as executive function skills, such as organizational skills. Through my private practice, I teach children with ADHD to obtain positive social skills as well as to learn more effective executive function skills, such as how to plan their academic work by developing efficient organizational skills. Is it positive or not? Most people with ADHD typically hyperfocus. It is when someone focuses on something so intensely that they seemingly do not even hear another person when they speak to them.

Have you witnessed your child playing a video game and zoning in on the game yet zoning out regarding what is going on around them? Is it a positive or a negative? He then throws the winning pitch to strike out the batter. That is an example of a hypefocus that is productive. If you can get your child to hyperfocus on homework, that clearly would be productive.

ADHD: When hyperfocus kills a relationship.


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